Friday, August 31, 2012

Tears are good stress reliever :)

I am female, and yes I use that as an excuse whenever I feel like nothing can calm me but a good cry. Today, after 4 years of going through the same process, I cried. I was not promoted. 

That sounded childish, but it's not. (of course, I'd say it's not) I'm not after the salary increase that comes along with it because I got my share of that. It's more of self worth, actually. Of knowing your're doing good, that you are excelling in what you do. Today I cried because I felt stupid, and having been a tutor and lecturer for more than 6 years before becoming a developer, for me that's the worst feeling ever. 

I couldn't even post anything in Facebook, because I wanted to be happy for my friends who leveled up and I am. I just couldn't give a warm congratulations now because I feel bad for myself. No, I'm not envious and no I am not comparing myself to others. I am comparing myself to me, and I wanted so bad to be a better version of me. 

I've cried. I feel better. I've identified my weaknesses. I have plans on how to improve and will implement them as soon as I can. 

Moving forward. :) 
Rating, see you next fiscal year with a smile. :)

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Real Beauty





Every girl should feel beautiful, regardless of what others think. 

Saturday, August 25, 2012

I'm a Cheater!

Yes, I admit I am. You can't blame me. I can't help myself so I indulged. Eating has always been my weakness. *insert very sad face here* Sigh. 

I know I've posted the challenge of losing weight and yes I was losing the challenge. I am now at 67.1 Kilos and counting and this should stop. *sob* Hubby and I have always been fond of eating. Since we got together, it has always been a dine-in date for us, and now that we're married every weekend is always spent hunting new restaurants or having food delivered for our Friday movie nights, or (being the Kapampangan that he is) him experimenting on a new dish which would always turn out to be tasty! In short, we pig out on weekends haha. Today isn't an exception. He cooked Bistek Tagalog for breakfast and I ate just a little less than usual determined to start dieting but come lunch time, I craved for chicken. I wanted chicken nuggets with fries but changed my mind and ordered KFC's streetwise bucket meal which consists of 6 pieces fried chicken (ours were hot and original combined), 3 side dishes, 3 rice and 2 500 ml Coke. Yes, you guessed right, we finish the lot. Amazing, isn't it? :p 

For dinner, as we were in Market! Market! after attending the BGC The Feast, we had Beef Wanton Noodles, regular Asado Siopao, Pork and Tofu and Nai Cha. Hubby was suppose to take Wanton Noodles but the cashier wasn't able to punch it. We didn't bother to order anymore because the Beef Wanton was good enough for 2 people trying to go on a diet. We shared :) 

I really need to lose weight and I will start tomorrow haha, since I've already eaten today's meals. I need an inpiration or an incentive. 

My inspiration:



Nope, not that much of a big fan, but she really lost weight, and I should as well. Now for the incentive, hmmm.. I'm gonna have to think about it first. :) 

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Happy Skin

Since I was a baby, I've had dermatitis. I've gone to several dermatologists but was never really able to get rid of it. Some say it's asthma of the skin and it's not curable. My skin is dryer than normal. During summer or if it's dusty, I'd get this little sores which are very itchy. I would usually (try to) have self control when I'm awake but at night when I'm half asleep I'd be itch-happy and scratch every inch of my skin. Needless to say, I have never worn shorts since I was a kid and had a very low self esteem growing up because I was different. It's a vicious cycle of getting sore, irritated, wounded and watery skin, taking medicines and healing. More than the money spent on the dermatologist trips, my worry was really my skin collecting ugly wound scars. I used to just have scars on my neck and joints but 2 years ago, due to a lot of stress from work, my skin had its worst condition. 

I edited the photos to be in black and white so they'd be less unappealing, but if shown in colored, the redness and puffiness of my skin would be very apparent. My back shone because at that time I was trying putting on virgin coconut oil which, I was told by a nurse friend, had a healing and moisturizing effect. 


There wasn't a part of my skin which did not have gushing wounds. These pictures were taken when I was already "healing" so the sores did not have scabs anymore. 




I was not at work almost once a week because of skin pain. I was taking steroids to heal them and they would, except that they'd come back right after stopping oral medications. Steroids can only be taken in a short period because they are not that healthy, so I'd take them for a week and I had to stop.After 2 months I was forced to be on leave for a week because I couldn't walk anymore. Baths were hard as water felt like alcohol to my skin. My dermatologist gave me Burrow Solution which is supposed to be applied 15 minutes on every wound to dry them. With all the wounds that I had, using both my hands, I only managed to treat each one for 3 minutes and it would take me 2 solid hours to finish. I couldn't sleep at night because of the itch and the pain after I've scratched them. I tried taking in Red Juice, and eating only veggies and fruits, they helped minimize the redness but the sores just won't go away. Seeing my skin in this way brought my confidence to the extreme low. I thought of quitting work and breaking up with my boyfriend of 5 years (now Hubby) because I couldn't let him be with a mess like me. 

I endured this phase for 18 months, often absenting myself from work, visiting the dermatologists almost every week and being on and off Prednisone (the steroid) for a year. I gained weight. I even consulted another dermatologist recommended by a co jeepney passenger. Yes, that's how eye-catching my skin was that even strangers would either give me an are-you-contagious kind of look or would offer help by telling me how themselves or someone they know had the same thing and what they did to cure it. I had sore wounds even on our wedding day! :(

One officemate told me to consult an allergologist for another medical opinion on my condition. I never knew there was an allergy specialist! All I knew was that if it was about skin, you go to a dermatologist and that was what I have been doing for the past n years. Since I was under Maxicare, I looked for one and found Dr. Manuel Canlas and immediately consulted him. 

He's a pretty popular doctor as Hubby and I  had to go back after not making it on their waiting list (capacity  - 60 people only). When we finally made it to the cut-off, we had to wait for 5 hours ( I slept on the bench outside the clinic to pass time) to be attended. I was checked for allergies via skin test where they prick your skin 60 times for 60 allergens, wait for 20 minutes and see what allergen made your skin a bit sore. 

Above is the result of my skin test. For years I struggled with the urge of eating seafoods and chicken because I was told I was allergic to them, so it was a great relief to see that my major allergens were dust and dust mites. Dr. Canlas offered two choices - 1. I take oral and topical medications when my skin is irritated and showing signs of starting wounds. This one would be a lifetime thing tho because as long as you are exposed to the allergens you're sensitive to, you will definitely get a reaction. 2. desensitization where you have a 70% chance of totally getting rid of your allergy.

I chose the 2nd one of course :) It's a process of injecting  you a dosage of your allergen every week and you taking oral and topical medications until the dosage gets higher, your visits get more seldom and you rely only on your immune system fighting allergic reactions. This method usually takes 4 months to a year depending on how serious your condition is. I'm almost on my 12th month and I'm very happy to say that ever since I've been taking shots I never had bad reactions, only the occasional mosquito-looking-bite wounds when it's really hot or dusty. 

No more pus. No more gushing wounds.Now I eat anything I want, I just couldn't sweep the house,the bed sheets and pillow cases need changing every week and the bed needs spraying of anti dust mites every 2 weeks :) 

Thank you Ally for recommending an allergologist. 
Thank you Dr.Canlas for being patient with me. 

Above all, thank you Lord. You didn't forget me and heard my cries. Healing has finally arrived. :) 

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Paulo and Mitch

There was a time when every month I reward myself with either a new pair of shoes or a book. Being a girl, I often times end up having both haha. I just recently realized that the last time I bought a book was 2 years ago and I haven't even read it :(

The first book I bought for myself was Mitch Albom's Tuesdays With Morrie.  I've been hearing about it since college but never had the time to actually check it out. Came my second book from Paulo Coelho which I bought second hand in a store at the UP tiange during the fair for half the price - The Alchemist :) 

I liked their way of writing so I told myself to buy (if I can) one at a time until I've collected all their published ones. I've visited my shelf and was a little disappointed that I've actually somehow abandoned my love for reading. 



Maybe this coming payday, I can get a book and read it with eagerness just like the old times :)

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Amici Dinner Date

After one badminton game, Hubby and I decided to go to Megamall and hear an anticipated Mass. We took the MRT to Ortigas and boy was it I-can-smell-everyone full! I don't take the train going to work but I know  how it gets crowded during rush hour. When we got to the mall, it was already dinner time and unfortunately for us there were no more Mass we could attend so we decided to scout for a diner and eat. A friend told me about Amici before and said that it was like Italianni's but cheaper. I have never eaten at Italianni's so I wouldn't know the price difference but still we went ahead and tried their cooking. 


Amici serves pasta and pizzas. They also have rice on their menu but since I'm not in the mood for rice, Hubby and I chose 2 of their best sellers. 

Their Spaghetti Ai Tesori Del Mare was basically spaghetti in chili oil with tomatoes, scallops, clams and mussels. I like seafood and though I'm more into the red-sauced pasta, surprisingly I liked this one. Though it  had chili oil, it was not that spicy. 


We also had their Pollo Arrostito which is roasted half chicken. Though in their menu, it's indicated that it made their list of best sellers, it's actually not that good as I expected. 


Their servings are good enough for 2 people but it also depends on your appetite. I was already full after finishing my plate but since we didn't want to take the chicken home, we also cleared that one. The food was not that exceptional. Though the pasta tasted great, I was kind of wishing we could have picked something else in place of the chicken. 


Oh and they have Gelato too but we didn't try it. We have no more tummy room for it. :p

Amici:
Atrium, 3rd level, SM Megamall
Edsa corner Julia Vargas Ave., Mandaluyong City 
Philippines

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Overwhelmingly blessed

Seeing this video made me realize how blessed I am to be living in a decent house, working in an air conditioned office for only 45 hours a week and eating at least 3 times everyday. Your perspective really changes when you take off your focus on yourself and try to see others live their lives in tough situations but still manage to smile, be happy and take things as they are. 




Let's all be thankful for what we have and hopeful for those we still strive to achieve. 


For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11

Friday, August 3, 2012

Bang!

I learned about "Whose Line Is It Anyway" through Hubby and I've watched several of their you tube videos. WLIIA is an improvisational comedy show and has different segments including "sound effects" where 2 people coming from the audience have to do sound effects on what Ryan and Collin  were acting about.  Among the segment videos, this one really cracked me up. 



I think I already have abs now from laughing so hard! Way to go Ryan and Collin! :)